So we often hear talks about the role of women in General Conference or a Women's Conference, but this may be the first time I've heard one at a Stake Conference and at the adult meeting on Saturday night from one of the counselors in the Stake Presidency. He especially concentrated on the role of women in Ward Councils. Women's views are often very different from men, but are an essential part of the Ward Council. They should feel their comments are of value and they should participate in discussions on all matters, not just those dealing with sisters or Primary children. He says the Bishop should seek input from sisters, even if they aren't especially vocal with their opinions.
Quoting Quentin L. Cook, he said that without the sisters, we can't reach the full revelatory potential of the ward council. I looked up this article from 2011, and was surprised I didn't remember it. It's "LDS Women are Incredible" and it's definitely worth a read here.
Many wards are firing on only a few cylinders, because they are not delegating, especially to the sisters. A one cylinder ward is where the bishop solves all the problems, and could be done much more efficiently by delegating the problem solving to all the members of the ward council, including the women. "How vital you are in moving this great work forward!"
The world is screaming at women- incorrect truths about ourselves. We are not second class members of this church. And "You don't measure up" is a lie directly from the adversary. Many would have us believe that women are "repressed" or "belittled" in the church, but when asked why they feel that way it was always a particular person, rather than a church policy that made them feel inferior. We can all admit that members of the church are not perfect, so we need to let grudges go and not let it affect our testimony or feelings towards the Church. He also advocated the men to apologize if they have ever made a woman feel inferior.
He did give a big disclaimer that he of course would never understand exactly how it feels to be a woman in the church. He did bring up a negative comment that he read on a comment board on a blog or website where women were sharing how they were made to feel as a woman in the Church. The comment was something along the lines of "I don't want to be appreciated as a woman only for the fact that I can be a Mother." He felt that comment was unwarranted and went on to share a priceless experience with his Mother that he remembered from his childhood. But I felt that I really understood and empathasized with this comment, as did my friend who sitting next to me who whispered that this woman who had made the comment probably wasn't married and didn't have her own children yet. My friend did not marry until she was 30, and knew that pain of not feeling valued because she was not yet a mother. Having been married at age 20 and becoming a mother at age 22, I didn't feel this pain in that way, yet I have experienced it in other ways. The times when I have been the most down and discouraged were when I felt that I was a failure as a mother, and there was nothing else in my life that I could feel successful in. That's all I had at the time. Men can feel like they are failing as a father yet feel successful in other areas of their life like their career and their priesthood calling. We do want to be valued for other qualities and contributions besides just the ability to be a mother. Of course I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a mother and consider it such a blessing to be given maybe a few of the qualities that would help me be a good mother. But I think there are a lot of us that struggle and feel like we don't always measure up to the assignment of being a mother.
I think it is key that both men and women remember that these "motherly qualities" are essential in many areas of life besides giving birth and nuturing your own children. These are the qualities that make women such an important part of Ward Councils and other organizations,
I am so grateful to be a woman in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I do feel valued and appreciated. I have loved being a part of the Ward Council at different times and always felt my opinion and skills were valued and wanted. I can't imagine my or any other ward functioning without the influence of our fabulous female leaders who have incredible wisdom and spiritual gifts.
